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Reflection

2017 - A Year of Reconciliation, A Year to Choose Love

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2017 - A Year of Reconciliation, A Year to Choose Love

Before I get into this deeply personal (and introspective) post, I want to promote my new YouTube series that will be out starting Friday! It’s really fun and I filmed it with one of my best friends, so check it out and share your thoughts on the topics: Cinco de Mayo, Cultural Appropriate, Great Music, and SOUP!

ANYWAYS:

I am currently 20,000 ft. in the air flying to Chicago for work despite missing my initial flight and waiting at the airport for 5ish hours. I am exhausted, but I can’t sleep. I’ve had something on my mind that I really need to get out. RECONCILIATION.

Lately, I’ve really been wanting to create lasting and real relationships with people. Some people may read this and know that I am referring to them, but I really want them to know that my intentions are true. I really want to be cool with everyone.

Over the past few months and even years to a degree, there have been a number of people who I felt have hurt me. Whether they meant to or not, I found myself resenting them and not wishing the best for them. I’ve honestly wished the opposite at some points. But this post isn’t about how much I’ve hated others or held grudges, it’s about fixing it. Recently, I had an in depth conversation with an old friend and I saw in their eyes that they really did care for me and wished the best for me. How can I harbor hate towards someone who wants me to be happy? Easy. Their actions for one reason or another caused the opposite. But in that moment when I was vulnerable and sharing my feelings of hurt and confusion, I realized that they had felt the exact same way. I saw that neither one of us wanted this negativity in our lives. After that honest moment I found clarity and the beginning of a new/old friendship.

We all talk about (or at least I have) the ability to cut people out of our lives, but do you really have that power? I know I don’t. I try to act like other’s action don’t hurt me and everyone is just replaceable, but it’s quite the opposite. Now I choose to focus on something else. The memories, the love, the moments of honesty have become what I try to cling on to. We all make mistakes, we all have hurt someone, and we are not perfect. BUT what we can do is make amends. I don’t have to be best friends with everyone or the people who I’ve grown a part from, but I REFUSE to be filled with hatred.

This is so sappy, but in 2017 (wow, we’re almost halfway through the year) let’s choose to love. Let’s choose to support. Let’s choose to forgive. Let’s give everyone the benefit of the doubt because we don’t know what anyone is going through behind closed doors. Think all of the serious things that you’ve gone through. Have you never acted out or done things you aren’t proud of as a result? I would hate for my misplaced emotions to end a relationship forever.

To those of you that I have ever hurt (maybe even unknowingly): I’m truly sorry. I don’t want to live my life hating anyone or rolling my eyes every time someone says your name. Let’s hang out. Let’s get to know each other. Let’s meet in the middle. We’ve all got a story to tell and lessons to share and no matter what we’ve gone through, I want to hear it. SOOOOO long story short: Let’s all love each other because President Tiny hands is spewing out enough hate for all of us.

 

With the deepest level of sincerity,

Devin (DevDoe if ya nasty)

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The Time is Now

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The Time is Now

Happy Lent, everyone! During this time, I go through phases where I feel like I can take over the world and moments of intense struggle and weakness. I’ve given up many things this year and weirdly enough it has allowed me to focus on my faith and finding myself. As I tried to think of what to talk about, the message became clear: The time is now.  

SOURCE: GIPHY

SOURCE: GIPHY

I swear 90% of our lives is spent waiting for someone to permit us to do what we want. Waiting for someone to promote you at work. Waiting for someone to give ask you on a date. Waiting for someone to validate our abilities. Waiting for the perfect sign to make that big move. Well the truth is we know what we want. The truth is that when we really recognize our worth and our capabilities, we are unstoppable.

I have so many conversations with people who spend more time policing their own dreams than they do living them. Next time you have a conversation with someone about your aspirations, I want you to be very conscious of how you speak about those goals. Are you embarrassed about your dreams? Do you write them off as something that will never happen? What I really want all of my loved ones and readers to do is to recognize your greatness. We can do anything we put our minds and our hearts to. Give yourself a chance to shine instead of hiding in the background waiting for your big break. Take a leap of faith because you know you’re great.

SOURCE: GIPHY

SOURCE: GIPHY

I’ve had times where I’ve been scared or ashamed to say what I want and where I want to be, but it is important to put those dreams out there. Let others hear it. Let yourself hear it. Let’s speak up and speak out this month and every month moving forward!

SOURCE: GIPHY

SOURCE: GIPHY

Devin (Yes, I’m talking to myself lol), you are exceptional. Stop feeling like an underdog because you are in competition with no one. You are capable of so much more than you even know and you need to start acting like it. Don’t settle. Don’t get complacent. You will be a star because you were born a star. You will be a household name and you will figure out how to create the perfect brand which encompasses your many passions. Be the visionary you know you can be!

Your best friend,

Dev.

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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

Today I took a dance class that was centered around the idea of being the person that you know you truly are deep down. The instructor eloquently spoke of the idea that we limit ourselves into being someone who does not truly encompass our full potential. He used a metaphor where the person that we really want to be is on the other side of a door that we prevent ourselves from passing through. I visualized a person who is confident in who they are and in their abilities. A person who did not care if others appreciated their skills and talents because this person is not only was aware of his talents, but he also enjoys them. I so desperately wanted to pass through that door and fully become that person.

There rarely are times in my life in which there is someone else holding me back from reaching a goal or making a dream a reality. It is always my mind and my fears that hold me back. It is all too easy to speak about what I want to do: "I want to move to New York" "I want to be a famous actor, singer, dancer" " I want work for GQ" Where it gets difficult is in the preparation and the pursuing of these dreams. The "what I will do." Because we artist tend to be so visionary, it is very difficult to make a vision a reality. These visions start to fade into doubts. I start to doubt myself and hold myself back from realizing my true potential. The worst part for me is that I am aware of my gifts and talents, but that idea of failure haunts me. At times it is just easier to give up and not take the risk of truly failing. I know deep down that I would rather fail at pursuing a lifelong dream of mine, than to cower in fear living a life overflowing with regret. And even deeper down, I know that if I really allow myself to commit to being the best me that I can be, failure is not an option. I know that I will succeed. I just need to allow myself to give in to that side of my consciousness.

A few months ago I was elected to be the president of my team. Now I legitimately LOVE this team. Even before I was the president, I would constantly think of what the team needs and how we can improve. I always found myself talking to the past president about the team and it is one of the main reasons she became one of my best friends. Naturally, I envisioned myself one day leading this team like the many other leaders who did before me. I looked up to all of the past presidents and I wanted to be just like them. When election time started to come up, I found myself doubting my abilities and my passion for the team. People would suggest that I should run for president, and I would very quickly shoot them down. I would say that I'm not good enough or I'm not ready. This was that fear that I spoke of earlier. I feared that I wouldn't win and I feared that I could not lead the team as well as the previous leaders. I did not want to let everyone down after such a stellar year for the team. I got to a point where I did not even think I deserved to be on the team anymore because I was shooting myself down. Eventually, I came to my senses when a former team president spoke about how all you need to do is care about the team. I knew that I 100% cared about the team and its growth.

Here I am now pursuing that short-term goal of being the president. The executive board and I have already made huge steps toward being a successful team simply because I allowed myself to be that person on the other side of the door. I chose to mute my doubts and insecurities and allow the leader that I am shine. Classes like this past one remind me of these times where I was able to quiet my doubts and show the awesome person that I really am. I challenge each of you to be that person that you know you can be. Don't listen to the external or internal forces that hold you back. You can do it. We can do it.

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